i don’t have any happy story to tell you about, so here is a song related to the current mood instead.
i don’t see my father for almost three months, i guess, even when he’s at home
i have no interested in chatting with my mother as i used to for she keeps being too emotional and lately it has not been easy for me to handle when i don’t even summon enough strength to get up yet i can lie in my bed whole day and just listen to music non-stop. so i just talk less.
and my brother, he sucks.
i tried and i tried to be good and be better and the result is that i failed. so, whatever.
what keep racing through my head are an inevitable tiring and the overwhelming sadness, how i’m such a burden for people around me and just want to leave everything behind and kick a new start from the very beginning. i’ve been thinking about future a lot lately. dreams, a bucket list, what makes me happy, which life i’d want to live, death.
perhaps i would take any pill if it meant to be a cure for the hell inside me.
i’m sorry, i’m just need a place to pour my heart out right now.
i’ll save happy positive things for the next post, i’ll try to.