/sometimes the best intentions just ain’t enough/.

i don’t have any happy story to tell you about, so here is a song related to the current mood instead.

i don’t see my father for almost three months, i guess, even when he’s at home

i have no interested in chatting with my mother as i used to for she keeps being too emotional and lately it has not been easy for me to handle when i don’t even summon enough strength to get up yet i can lie in my bed whole day and just listen to music non-stop. so i just talk less.

and my brother, he sucks.

i tried and i tried to be good and be better and the result is that i failed. so, whatever.

.

what keep racing through my head are an inevitable tiring and the overwhelming sadness, how i’m such a burden for people around me and just want to leave everything behind and kick a new start from the very beginning. i’ve been thinking about future a lot lately. dreams, a bucket list, what makes me happy, which life i’d want to live, death.

perhaps  i would take any pill if it meant to be a cure for the hell inside me.

i’m sorry, i’m just need a place to pour my heart out right now.

i’ll save happy positive things for the next post, i’ll try to.

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Posted in en

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